We, as a group of 4 girls, see an awful lot of films, partly by going to the extortionately priced cinemas, partly by buying them or taping them off the TV, and mostly by watching Lauren's stash of 'ahem' 100% legal DVD's. Of course we have opinions on said productions, and here we will aim to provide a guide of the latest films we have seen, in order to streamline your future viewing, and stop you wasting your hard earned, begged or borrowed cash on seeing such shit films as King Arthur and Thunderbirds.

Please note, these are our opinions, we are not professional critics, and some of us, Harriet and Kat in particular, can become attached to the shittest of films, if they feature a pretty male face.

How many of you out there when hearing the words 'puppet' and 'film' in the same sentence would think of Thunderbirds and immeadiately burst into uncontrollable tears/giggles? All I can say is think of Alan Tracey and weep no more, Team America is here to save the metaphorcal day.

We all love a little bit of political sattire, especially that emcompassing everyone's favourite world destroying fool of a president George 'If English was good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for Texan school children' W Bush. This film certainly does not disappoint.

The story follows a group of World Police, out to save the world (duh). The opening shot sees Team America coming into Paris to stop a terrorist. After warning the terrorists to 'Step away from the weapon of mass destruction' the group proceed to destroy the Eiffel Tower, Louvre and many other monuments accidentally, before giving themselves a whole-hearted American pat on the back. The group then enlist Broadway actor Gary to dress up as a terrorist and infiltrate the netowrk to find out new terrorist plots. However, the crimestoppers completely miss the real threat of criminal mastermind tunred Korean Jonathon Ross, Kim Jung-Il......

This film is one of the funniest things I have ever seen, from the puppet sex scenes, to the use of kittens as deadly black panthers to 'I miss you more than Michael Bay missed the mark when he made Pearl Harbor '. The soundtrack is spot on, and even makes fun of the unevitable film montage. Maybe I'm exaggerating a bit, but along side Farenheight 9/11, this is one of the films of the age, which our children will learn about in history lessons. Meh, at least they'll have fun in their lessons :P. The very thought of Miss Neal watchign two puppets fornicate with a class full of students in 20 years time makes this film all the sweeter. You'll be singing 'America, FUCK YEAH' for the whole night.

Overall Rating - 5/5

Before I went to see Thunderbirds at the cinema, I was under the impression that, yes, the film would be crap, but it wouldn't matter, as there would be a fit 15 year old blonde American featuring in the film, so all my complaints would vanish at the thought of his beautiful face.

So why is it that the beautiful main character, instead of the American heart-throb that should have been Chad Micheal Murray, was some whiny, annoying little goody two shoed retard who looked like a mix between Andy White and Ben Wills?

Thunderbirds tells the story of young Alan Tracey, a starry eyed retard of a 15 year old boy who is bitter and resentful that his older brothers are more attractive, more intelligent and generally better human beings that he ever will be. His rich, high profile multi billionaire father is actually a secret agent type person (*facepalm*) and his best friend has a name similar to 'doormat'. His other friend, for some reason which is never really explained in the film, is related to the bad guy, who is just an excuse to see a once famous and well respected actor (Ben Kingsley) camp it up and lose any prospects of finding anymore work. Brady Corbett plays Alan Tracey, and it's fair to say his acting is as wooden as the puppet he plays.

The apparent moral of this story is something resembling 'even if you totally fuck everything up, almost get yourself, act like a total arsehole to your friends, or almost get yourself, your friends and family killed, you can still earn a shiny badge and a knowing wink from Bill Paxton'.

Aside from possibly launching a Ben Kingsley line of cosmetics, Thunderbirds seems destined to leave no lasting mark.

Should I even bother giving it a rating. No.

OK, so unless you have lived under a rock your whole life, you'll already know the basic jist of th Freaky Friday story- girl wakes up in her mother's body and visa versa, and in quite a sickening 'Brady Bunch' manner, they become best buddies in their campaign to get their bodies back to normal.

This re-make features Lindsay Lohan as Anna, a stereotypical teenager who's catchphrase seems to be 'you're ruining my life!!!' matched up with melodramatic screams and violent gestures towards her brother. Jamie Lee Curtis is Tess, the also stereotypical over-worked, over-acheiving mother who appears to have little time to share with her kids.

This film is basically the same as any other teen movie, it has the romance, it has the mild comedy, it has the break-up-and-make-up moments and it has the happy and predictable endings.

However, with the addition of pretty boy Jake (the beautiful Mr Chad Micheal Murray), the film sort of becomes a twisted romance story resembling that of The Graduate; boy meets girl, girl likes boy, boy likes girl's mother. Haha. Quite rank, really.

The ending is rushed and also doesn't follow the flow of the film, which, up to the point of the rehearsal dinner, flowed very well. But meh, beggers can't be choosers. This film has a bit of everything and would apeal to every audience; to the girl, there is beautiful CMM, to the guy, there is the gorgeous Lindsay Lohan, for the older perverted men who should not be seeing a film aimed at 12 year olds, also Lindsay Lohan and for the bitch, there is the fact that Jamie Lee Curtis' legs look horrendous when she's trying on shoes. Laugh away.

Hmm. Rating. I'd say 3/5, the soundtrack does a lot for the film.

Okay, this spin off movie to the popular Disney series sees Lizzie (Hilary Duff), her best friend Gordo (Adam Lambert), and the rest of her class embark of a summer trip to Rome, under the watchful eye of school teacher Miss Unglemeyer. Whilst in Rome, Lizzie meets popstar Paulo, who tells her she looks exactly like his singing partner Isabella, who is currently missing. He proposes a plan to her that she should play Isabella at an upcoming awards ceremony, so Isabella wont loose face, and the lovestruck Lizzie agrees. With the help of Gordo, she sneaks out to meet Paulo, whilst Gordo struggles with his growing feelings for Lizzie, and jealously towards the perfect Paulo. Or is he......?

Okay, I guess one of the main reasons I loved this film is beacuse I am a massive Hilary Duff fan. The film is pure cheese from beginning to end, but it is still entertaining. The character of Gordo is especially likable in the film, and the audience is felt to sympathise with him as appose to the good looking, but extremely annoying Paulo. Despite appearances, the film is not as predictable as it seems, and there is quite a considerable twist at the end. If you get tired of watching Lizzie squeel with delight at the sights of Rome from the back of Paulo's moped, her little brother Matt does a great preformance as the comic relief.

The only disappointing elements of this film were how Kate's character has changed so dramatically from the TV series, and that Miranda wasn't in it. Older viewers may also be disappointed at the lack of physical contact of any kind between Lizzie and her man. If you like cheesy teen movies, you'll love this film, if you don't you probably won't. I as part of the former catagory would throughly recommend it.

Overall Rating. 3.5/5

Before I see this film, I had high expectations of it, and expected it to be an enjoyable way to waste 2 hours of my life. The trailer made the film appear to be a comical and light-hearted remake of the original blockbuster, starring the comedy genius of Matthew Broderick, and the effortless acting wonder that is Nicole Kidman.

I must say, I couldn't have been more wrong. I think we all know the premise of the film, the the powerful and headstrong TV executive Johanna (Kidman) has a nervous breakdown after being fired, leading her husband Walter (Broderick) to move the family to the small town of Stepford, Conneticut. While there, Johanna is shocked to discover that all the wives of Stepford, bar her, and her two friends Bobbie (Bette Midler) and Roger (Roger Bart) are beautiful, charming and obeidient, in fact perfect in every way. This is soon explained by fact that the men of Stepford are turning their wives into robots under the guise of the Men's Social Club.

While Walter struggles with the moral dilemma about whether turning his wife into a household appliance is right, Johanna begins to notice that even her friends aren't immune to the Stepford curse, as she see's Roger transformed from a lovable camp guy, to someone who throws out his Viggo Mortensen Tshirts and Orlando 'Can't act for Pudding' Bloom posters overnight. A distraught Johanna races home, and what should she find, but a remote control with her name on it.......

If you enjoy Nicole Kidman's 'The Others'esque gasping, Matthew Broderick bumbling around like a niave walrus, Glenn Close's constant psychotic tittering, and 50 women 'exercising' in a way uncannily similar to Lauren's dancing, you'll love this film. If not, your gonna be disappointed. The ending is very complex, and confusing (the type where there are about 6 twists all at once which bear no resemblance to the rest of the film), and the carefully built up, sassy and intelligent character of Johanna is reduced to bimbo in a way that makes the audience scream at the screen.

Overall, it's not that bad, but if you must see it, I'd recommend the original. There are some funny moments, but others so incredibly stupid you'll want to leave the room.

Overall Rating - 2/5

How does this film sell itself? An epic battle with 3 incredibly hot guys in skirts. Not the most appealing of concepts. Before I saw this film, I can say I wasn't overenthusiastic. For one thing, I had never read a Greek myth, secondly the idea of 3 hours of blood thirsty violence wasnt overly attractive, and added to that, unlike most of the female population of the planet, I don't find Brad Pitt overly attractive. Of course we musn't forget that the film offers very little grass, being set in a Mediterreanean climate, and I don't know if it's just me, but you don't realise how much you appreicate grass until it isn't there. So when I finally sat down to watching it, I wasn't expecting much. I am glad to say I was very wrong.

For any of you, who like me, aren't overly into classic literature, the story of Troy goes a little like this. There are two lands, the Land of Troy, and the many kingdoms of Greece, which aren't under one rule. The two princes of Troy, Paras (Orlando 'Can't act for pudding' Bloom) and Hector (The beautiful Eric Bana) go and visit Greece, and Paras 'accidentally' steals the kings wife, Helen, and whisks her off to Troy. The brother of the guy who foolishly left his wife unattended near a frisky Bloom declares war on Troy for the sake of it, and hires Achilles (Brad Pitt) and his men to fight. They sail over the sea in many a ship, off to fight for Troy.

True to form, Orlando Bloom is annoying, whiney, and displays little to no acting ability, and Brad Pitt is arrogant, pouting and kills the fit guy in a scene which will have the entire female population of the audience scream at the loss of the innumenable number of beautiful children he could have fathered. However, this film is a must see. Eric Bana, who I hadn't heard of before, is pure Trojan sex appeal. The film is also open to interpretation, with no clear bias to whether you should be supporting Troy or Greece, ( although, obv I went for Troy).

Very good all round. Even though there is little to no grass.

Overall Rating 4.5/5

'The Terminal', story of Viktor Navorski (Tom Hanks), a guy who's trip to New York is delayed by the fact that his home country breaks into war while he is in the air, and cannot therefore be recognised as a nation in the US, meaning his passport is invalid, and he cannot enter the US, or fly home. So Viktor must make himself at home in the JFK passenger longue for 9 months, where he invariably falls in love with beautful air stewardess Amelia Warren (Catherine Zeta Jones).

Before going to see this film, Lauren told me it had recived 1 star in the Times, but decided to see it anyway. Halfway through the movie, I was still impressed, Hanks performance was not only credible, but amusing and moving at points, overall the first half is very good, and sets up the second half very nicely.

However, at this point, the film goes all wrong. The introduction of a love interest for Viktor does nothing for his character, and the film quickly turns into the same boring romantic comedy you have seen a hundred times before. When he is finally allowed to go home, the ending is cliche and not in tune with the rest of the film, parts are rushed and bits of the story not explained at all, leaving a very bitter taste in the mouth for the viewer.

All in all, I'd say, if it was on TV, watch it, it's not all that bad, but by no means pay to see this film. The second half really lets it down.

Overall rating. 2/5

We are currently waiting for your *ahem* favourite, but also bone idle web desingers to bother to update a review for this film. Come back soon.

Let's be completely honest from the start. I did not go to see this film because it got good reviews, or because the advertising campaign was any good, or because it earned Clive Owen a Golden Globe nomination. No, in fact the only reason I wanted to see this film, and Lauren and I dragged Andy along was so that we could drool over Jude Law for 2 hours.

As the film opened Andy was quick to comment about how he had 'been scummed' as Natalie Portman walks in with red spiky hair and the most appalling boots I have ever seen, and I must say, he was right. The beginning of the film is very confusing, jumping from one scene where Jude Law and Natalie Portman have just met, to the next where they have been dating for 2 years with no explanation. However, the cinamatography is beautiful, as is the soundtrack, especially good use of 'The Blower's Daughter' by Damien Rice. The complex story sees every one of the pair sleep with just about each of them, and the piece de resistance is where Natalie Portman begins to work at a strip club with cool pink hair and minimal clothing, at which point Andy retracted all previous statements.

The film also has the most subtle but hilarious script. I will here place two of the best quotes from the film.

'Dont say it Anna, don't say I'm too good for you. I am, but don't say it'

and 'You lurk outside my office everyday' 'And on the day's I'm not there you look for me' 'How would you know that if you're not there' 'Because I am there, just lurking from a distance'

Yeah, so I know I havent sold this film particularly well, but it does have the most amazing twist at the end, which Andy somehow missed, and me and Lauren had to explain to him, but see it. Full of beautiful people, screenwork, music, etc.

Overall Rating 4/5

This film is a must see for all ages. Personally I went to see it with my Grandma, twas very good. There are many jokes and references in the film that perhaps the little children wouldn't understand, demonstrating this films appeal to a wider audience. The quality voice cast line up includes the legend of Monty Python: John Cleese as the King, Julie Andrews ( The hills are alive...) as the Queen, Jennifer Saunders as the Fairy Godmother, Eddie Murphy as Donkey, Mike Myers as Shrek, Cameron Diaz as Princess Fiona, Antonio Banderas as Puss in Boots, have I left anyone out?

The story goes sumthin like shrek and princess Fiona go to a Kingdom Far Far Away to meet her parents, where the meddlesome fairy godmother tries to get the princess to marry her son Prince charming instead. Shrek and Donkey drink potion to make them sexy. I think we all know who we'd rather go for; obviously donkey. Meanwhile Puss in boots is hired as a hitman on shrek but instead he does this whole eye-welling-up thing- V. adorable. It also involves an extremely large gimgerbread man drowning. Can you tell I cant quite remember the plot to this film?

A sentence to sum up the film: a refresher course in your fairy tales combined with some quality comedy and songs. You'll be singing 'I need a hero' all night. Rated 4/5

We are currently waiting for your *ahem* favourite, but also bone idle web desingers to bother to update a review for this film. Come back soon.

Okay, truth be told your *ahem* favourite webdesigners are too lazy to have even been to see this film yet, but we soon will, when our funds allow us. But lets face it, it was either this, which we havent seen, or Garfield the movie, which we have. Lets be honest, do you want to see a picture of an annoying and plump ginger cat, or the beautiful pairing of Hilary Duff and Chad Micheal Murrey? I think we all know the answer to that.

Well sorry to disappoint you, we refuse to put Garfield here, so you'll have to put up with second best.